Sunday, December 16, 2007

First Thoughts...

So ok...

I haven't done this in a really long time, this blog thing....actually in years...

So this is new...Very new

The past few months of my life have been extremely interesting... probably the most interesting time in my life....ever

Going to college, I really thought a lot of questions I may have had about myself would be answered...but in fact, it's brought up more questions... I never realized how NOT in control I am of my life... its like everyday I wake up...look in the mirror...and wonder... "why can't I just plan what I want to do?"

Unfortunately, since my parents still continue to finanicially support me, whatever they say pretty much goes. The fact that I got a full scholarship doesn't seem to makes no difference. But goes on I guess.

I feel like many of my thoughts and actions are controlled my...someone else other than me. I try so hard to please everyone else, but at the end of the I really pleasing myself?
I just want to leave the country for like 2 months...go somewhere...and just be by myself... but that's never going to least any time soon. I just want to figure out "who is chassidy?" "what does she really believe?"...not "What does so-and-so think of Chassidy?"

I have a lot to learn...this Christmas break with time by myself should be interesting

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