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I am officially ready to go home...

I'll update later

Tag! I'm It!

I got tagged!

By...My love! Adrianne!
The Rules are as follows:
1. link the person who tagged you…
2. mention the rules in your blog…
3. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

Here are my six things:

1. I have a really bad addiction to cereal, particularly anything with strawberries (like Special K with Red Berries, Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries). For the longest time, my mom actually "suspended" cereal from me and my brother from eating it at night, because we ate it THAT much. If I were on a deserted island, and was able to ask for a certain kind of food, it would be Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries and cold 2% milk.

2. I have began to love the artist M.I.A. She's pretty cool. Deep stuff she speaks of too, once you get past the beats of her songs.

3. I wholeheartedly believe that my future husband is on this campus of this institution. I know it sounds weird, but ever since I've been here, I've believed that. Now the question is...who??

4. While some may think of me as being slightly conservative, as in the way I look and dress, (not in my beliefs though), I believe that I'm perhaps the biggest risk taker out of all my friends. Bungie jumping anyone?? I plan to one day jump from a plane, free fall and jump into a wonderful ocean in the Bahamas, scuba dive, and all that great stuff :-)

5. However, while I am a big risk taker when it comes to certain activities... I'm deathly afraid of disappointment. I know that I have a lot of people who believe in me, and a lot of others who want to see me fail. I want to one day make sure that my Granny is soo proud of me, because I know I owe so much to her.

6. The best way to end a night? Mint tea with chamomille, lights out, warm bed...and watching the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Yeah I know. Or... watching "Snapped". I really love that show. But I don't think I'm THAT big of a risk taker!!

I don't have any friends with the exception of Adrianne and Caroline...so... I have no one to tag. I guess the game ends... here. lol

Illusion...

Things may not always be what they seem.

I apologized to myself last night for being so retarded. I also accepted his apology.

Life goes on.

Everything's so confusing right now. I'm officially really really happy that I'm going back home... the summer should be able to sort some things out.

:-).... :-(

If there's one aspect in life I have so much trouble understanding...

Is the fact that you can continue to be so nice to someone, never treat them wrong, always give them the benefit of the doubt, and trust that they won't take you for granted...

But they bullshit you.

And do you so dirty. And wrong.

Why?

:-)

Last night was fun.

I'll leave it at that.

:-)

4/14

You guessed it.

Another disappointment. I have a feeling he got drunk. Seriously.

I don't have to deal with this.


And I'm not.

Shoegame...will be over here tonight.

3/14

Yeah... you guessed it.

I was supposed to be going out tonight with the "Musichead"... he tells me he can't take me, because he has "no gas"... that's the most bullshit I've heard in a long time.

3 disappointments... in 14 days.

I was talking to one of his friends today in the cafe. It was originally me and my friend but since she had a class at 1, she had to leave early. So me and him started talking. Having a pretty good, in-depth conversation. Then "Musichead" comes in, along with one of his friends. I guess he was somewhat surprised since he's never seen me talk to him, but w/e....anyway.

We all had a pretty interesting conversation. This friend of his that I was talking to, a lot of girls on campus are interested in him, very interested in him. He is fine as hell. But, no, I'm not interested.

Musichead told me that he's going to come to my room tonight. Well he says "I'll try to stop thru later on tonite"...

"Try"... sounds a lot like... "might".

I HATE might.

Try=might

Might=Bullshit

Do the math.

I swear, if TONIGHT=BULLSHIT, the math equation will look like this:

Chass+Shoegame=Blanket on the floor, hard breathing... sweat... yeah... do the math.

Tonight BETTER NOT= Bullshit

So yet again...

So last night ended up not being that bad...

Since "The Greek" has a love of music... I decided to change his name... It'll now be... hmmm... "Musichead"...yeah I know .

Things are very different with him... He's perhaps the most different out of any type of guy that I've ever met. And I guess this intrigues me so much. It's weird. I don't expect to hear from him everyday... not as often as I would like. I guess I'm so used to a guy texting me 24/7 or wanting to go out, or what have you. He tells me he wants to take things slow, and I'm trying so hard to understand that. But sometimes I have to wonder, "Am I the only one?"

I really hope I am.

I absolutely HATE disappointment. Growing up, I never really had to deal with it too much... well, at least when I was a little kid. My parents always made sure that whatever they told me would happen, did happen. And I guess I kept that notion as I got older. Because when someone tells me that they'll do something, I expect it. To the third degree.

Like tonight.

He told me last night while I was in his room that he would download some of his tracks on my blank CDs that I bought in the bookstore. This guy is sooo talented. I swear he is. Another part of the intrigue I guess. So I counted him on it. And now here it is... almost 1 am. I haven't heard from him all day. He lives outside of my apartment-dorm. So I see his light whenever I go out. Sometimes it's tempting to just go outside to see if he's in his room. Yeah stalker-ish...maybe?? I dunno... I think I'm just nosey as hell lol

Anyway... so here it is... almost 1 am.

He told me last nigth that we might be able to go out on Friday. Might. I hate that word. I feel that might is such bullshit. "I might be able to do this" "I might be in love with you." "I think I might want to break up"...yeah such bullshit. And I'm not too sure if whether or not I can rely on this "might". As I'm getting older, I'm realizing that the best person to go to advice to is my mom. I'm understanding that because she's at the position where I want to be one day... married... she'll have the best advice. I love my girls and everything, but we're all going through the same thing...and have absolutely no clue as to how to solve certain issues. Anyway... So I talked to my mom about it... and she told me that this is what "taking things slow"is all about...giving someone their space...their air. So I am. Btw, I hope you all aren't thinking that I'm like calling and texting this guy 24/7... oh no, not me. If I'm not texted first, I won't text. So...maybe that's my problem.

But I'm NOT chasing after some guy.

But I am free to just think about him, right?

Once again, I dunno... Times like this where it's late, I'm kinda lonely and the only thing keeping me company is "Tyra", I want to call the guy with the shoe game. I kinda miss him. I miss his attention most of all. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he just wanted was to get in my panties, but whatever. The attention was good. And nice. And sweet. And he still texts me throughout the day, which I really like.

Thinking of the guy with the shoe game, I wonder if that's what "Musichead" thinks of me... Like he knows I'll "always" be here... hmmm... I hope not.


So I read my love horoscope tonight... this is what it says,

Before you make an assumption about what's going on, make sure you have all the
details. Someone's behavior toward you may not be about you at all -- they may have
other things on their mind. Wait a few days before deciding how to react. By then, the
situation may have changed.
Yeah... hmm...

I'll update as to the events of this weekend...

What I hate THE most...

I absolutely hate disappointment...

To the highest degree.

So it seems that for the most part, I've been using this blog to vent, but whatever. lol. I just need to let out some frustrations.

So, remember the Greek I was talking about? The one that I really liked...yeah... So maybe I'm just being a little too...high expectational?? And maybe he's just a little...free spirited... I don't know....

Is there such a thing as being too clingy? (And NO he did not tell me that)

In other news... So, I haven't had sex since MLK Day... seriously. For the 18 years that I was a virgin, I never quite understood when my friends in high school would talk about being "sex deprived"...but now I understand. You know those hypothetical situations where its kinda like "If you were to have sex with this person and no one found out, would you do it?"... For a long time my answer was NO... but now...my answer is... maybe.

And no...it's not the Greek... it's the guy with the shoe game. I just want that feeling of want back. To have a way to let out my frustrations and stress about life... to love... the anatomy of a male. I always told myself that I would have to be in love again before I would take that next step, but w/e. I'm just not caring.

Tomorrow will be different though. Maybe.