Thursday, April 17, 2008

So yet again...

So last night ended up not being that bad...

Since "The Greek" has a love of music... I decided to change his name... It'll now be... hmmm... "Musichead"...yeah I know .

Things are very different with him... He's perhaps the most different out of any type of guy that I've ever met. And I guess this intrigues me so much. It's weird. I don't expect to hear from him everyday... not as often as I would like. I guess I'm so used to a guy texting me 24/7 or wanting to go out, or what have you. He tells me he wants to take things slow, and I'm trying so hard to understand that. But sometimes I have to wonder, "Am I the only one?"

I really hope I am.

I absolutely HATE disappointment. Growing up, I never really had to deal with it too much... well, at least when I was a little kid. My parents always made sure that whatever they told me would happen, did happen. And I guess I kept that notion as I got older. Because when someone tells me that they'll do something, I expect it. To the third degree.

Like tonight.

He told me last night while I was in his room that he would download some of his tracks on my blank CDs that I bought in the bookstore. This guy is sooo talented. I swear he is. Another part of the intrigue I guess. So I counted him on it. And now here it is... almost 1 am. I haven't heard from him all day. He lives outside of my apartment-dorm. So I see his light whenever I go out. Sometimes it's tempting to just go outside to see if he's in his room. Yeah stalker-ish...maybe?? I dunno... I think I'm just nosey as hell lol

Anyway... so here it is... almost 1 am.

He told me last nigth that we might be able to go out on Friday. Might. I hate that word. I feel that might is such bullshit. "I might be able to do this" "I might be in love with you." "I think I might want to break up"...yeah such bullshit. And I'm not too sure if whether or not I can rely on this "might". As I'm getting older, I'm realizing that the best person to go to advice to is my mom. I'm understanding that because she's at the position where I want to be one day... married... she'll have the best advice. I love my girls and everything, but we're all going through the same thing...and have absolutely no clue as to how to solve certain issues. Anyway... So I talked to my mom about it... and she told me that this is what "taking things slow"is all someone their space...their air. So I am. Btw, I hope you all aren't thinking that I'm like calling and texting this guy 24/7... oh no, not me. If I'm not texted first, I won't text. So...maybe that's my problem.

But I'm NOT chasing after some guy.

But I am free to just think about him, right?

Once again, I dunno... Times like this where it's late, I'm kinda lonely and the only thing keeping me company is "Tyra", I want to call the guy with the shoe game. I kinda miss him. I miss his attention most of all. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he just wanted was to get in my panties, but whatever. The attention was good. And nice. And sweet. And he still texts me throughout the day, which I really like.

Thinking of the guy with the shoe game, I wonder if that's what "Musichead" thinks of me... Like he knows I'll "always" be here... hmmm... I hope not.

So I read my love horoscope tonight... this is what it says,

Before you make an assumption about what's going on, make sure you have all the
details. Someone's behavior toward you may not be about you at all -- they may have
other things on their mind. Wait a few days before deciding how to react. By then, the
situation may have changed.
Yeah... hmm...

I'll update as to the events of this weekend...